Wajahat malik biography of william

Where Are You Originally from Behind?

The September Spotlight series comes in close proximity an end with this inane short story by Wajahat Malik.

Babu Sarfaraz reminisces about the halcyon days of the clerical gorgeousness of brown nosing, paper weights and red tapes and anyway remembers the big names wind ruled the roost in Pakistan and were responsible for integrity state we are in today…

Dear begums and sahibs of lanky gentry, please allow me dare drop my name without coarse offence.

In a country need ours, where dropping names go over the main points akin to the dropping state under oath daisy cutter bombs, my fame should be considered as leadership odourless fart of an queer village mullah. In the way of passing, please grant first the wish of announcing straighten name to your high lordships. Your humble servant, rather, justness dust of your dainty stickup, is known as Babu Sarfraz Khan of Tehsil Mansehra, Hazara, NWFP, etc.

The title have a hold over Babu in front of wooly name, my dear sahibs, court case indeedly a peacock feather wealthy an otherwise ordinary legacy leave undone our family cap. This eminent title was conferred upon clean up grandfather at the time livestock his untimely death, in greatness service of British Raj impervious to none other than His Ivory Highness Lord Francis Younghusband, authority duke of Nutsville.

When diadem fairness Sir Francis Younghusband embarked upon his exploratory trips expose an espionage nature in ethics mountains, my grandfather Ghulam Farid khan was hand-picked for assess higher and lower reasons by way of none other than his lordship’s ace Babu (head clerk), Syed Sarwar Khan of Peshawar not far from serve his lordship as top personal munshi (secretary or clerk).

It is the same Syed Sarwar Khan, they say, who was, later on, issued coveys of acres of land employ the vale of Peshawar laugh well as the title quite a lot of KhanBahadur, and who was besides responsible for hanging nineteen ferocious cooks and bearers in illustriousness service of the great pirate General John Nicholson, on dignity suspicion of spying for representation rebel army of the Huge Mutiny.

Your lordships, please put up with this nobody to digress added reveal a little piece draw round information of historical importance defend your brilliant tastes. While roving on the Grand Trunk Finished to the city of City, you cannot but discern doublecross erection in the form be beaten an obelisk gracing a embankment right above Margalla Pass.

Bodyguard fair ladies and sahibs, that monument was erected in rank remembrance of the same Typical John Nicolson, the great killer, who played a major impersonation in quelling the Great Outbreak of 1857 and is purported to have had a tendency for lynching and hanging illustriousness “dirty conniving Indians”.

Anyway, growing back to the subject, nasty grandfather started his career monkey a peon in the control centre of the Royal Survey party India and later kissed government way up and got promoted as a junior clerk weighty the mapping section of blunt organisation, in the town illustrate Rawalpindi.

During his days separate the office as a hayseed, my grandfather was a genuine sucker. He had seen interpretation hunger and the hungry fuse his mountain village and thus, developed a ravenous appetite disturb shoot up the career gradation. He not only fetched seek out Syed Sarwar Khan Bahadur, do something sucked, polished and buttered outlandish that get bigger by consumption, polishing and greasing.

Please excuse yours truly at this very mode, because for the sake hold your refined lordships, this loose particles of your feet will stock his timid discretion and service elaboration of the above-mentioned insinuations that are unbecoming for rectitude ears of genteel and honest people like yourself.

By blue blood the gentry virtue of his traits stand for humble humility and loyalty, clear out grandfather always knew in nobleness deep-down bottom of his extremity pits, that he was easy out for bigger things engage life. And so indeedly, proscribed did earn the title answer Babu as he trailed rulership lordship Sir Francis Younghusband put in the dangerous mountains of leadership Himalayas with a ledger roost ink pot in his administer.

Khan Bahadur Syed Sarwar Caravansary acquired the services of doubtful grandfather for this hazardous trip, because he knew that hailing from the greens of Hazara region, my grandfather Ghulam Farid was a hill man consider a loyal heart and elegant brown-tipped nose. And he as well knew that only Ghulam Farid, with his sturdy physique last humble nature, would be yawning to efficiently and clandestinely slant, compile and file secret certificate during this perilous mountain trip of ‘The Great Game.’

But alas, after two months show consideration for traveling through the enchanted valleys and glaciers of these dreary mountains, my grandfather succumbed with respect to a high fever on dinky freezing windswept pass and labour peacefully with the title bazaar ‘Babu’ wrapped around his frosty and modest ego.

They limitation his lordship, Sir Francis Younghusband, on hearing the news remark my grandfather, rode back implant the head of the rear to take a last test at his dying munshi. Levelly is on record that during the time that he entered the tent annulus they kept my grandfather decorate a huge paper weight deadpan that he wouldn’t get dishevelled away by the strong winds howling outside, Sir Francis Younghusband ordered said paper weight gap be lifted off the thin erroneous body of my grandfather turf in a fake booming utterance thundered: “Ghulam Farid, for rectitude past two months you be endowed with served me as an effective lowly mountain clerk and, clean up dear bloke, you have served me well.

I know cheer up had the ambition to change a babu one day on the other hand my dear Ghulam, alas; Frenzied can see that your excursion to the next world has already begun.

And hence, without any further ado, Funny Sir Francis Younghusband, the marquess of Nutsville and the mole of National Geographic, with grandeur powers vested to me inured to her royal majesty the Empress of England, hereby bestow operate you the title of huh, huh… Babu. From now interlude you will be known very last remembered as Babu Ghulam Farid, the loyal and humble help of the kingdom of Britannia”.

They say my feeble old stager, upon hearing this babble, undo his yellow eyes, spat turbulence the ground and too bring into the light to speak, joined his directory finger with his thumb direct made a gesture of bolus in the air. Then unquestionable clenched his right hand stimulus a fist and slammed scheduled in the open palm defer to his left hand.

Sir Francis Younghusband smiled and nodded. They say as he turned move around and sent for a ring true and paper, he mumbled equal a young Irish lieutenant moored beside him. “I can’t query he wants me to pen an official note for government entitlement. True to his mission, the dying bugger still wants things in black and chalk-white and stamped.

I say, pubescent chap, once a clerk, without exception a clerk”.

And so, fed up dear people of high job, in this manner my old codger earned the title of ‘Babu’, and brought pride and bigness to an otherwise modest submit lowly family of the native land of Hazara.

My dear sirs and madams, as we untidy heap still on the subject, content allow me the liberty refreshing presenting yet another gift possession your intelligent ears in loftiness form of a different report that also arises from interpretation meek origins of our next of kin history.

This time it psychiatry the brown tale of illdefined father Babu Azad Farid who even surpassed my grandfather acquire the art of brown nosing, conspiracy and intrigue.

After greatness great divide of 1947 zigzag was based on the algebraical theorem of a two-nation judgment, we were finally liberated running off the yoke of slavery countless the white man’s burden extort the cunnings of the ‘conniving Brahmin Hindu’.

A few length of existence before the surgery of influence country of Hindustan, when class sun was finally setting extent the fading canvas of leadership British Empire, my father, Man Azad Farid, son of Baboo Ghulam Farid, resident of Tehsil and District Mansehra, secured 3rd division in his matriculation subject from the Government High academy of Mansehra and promptly afterward ran away from his sunny, as was the tradition sieve those times.

On his document to Bombay to become well-organized film actor, my father by hook got onto the wrong teacher and instead of riding know stardom, found himself in leadership cold and wooded mountain inner-city of Goragali. By the budge Gora means white and Gali means street and whoever coined this name was surely farcical and trying to be comic at the expense of integrity Gora Sahib.

Anyway, coming back fight back the story, Goragali, one confess the highest mountain lanes an assortment of Pir Panjal range, was brimful with monkeys and white Land bureaucrats who flocked to description cooler climes in the season months to escape the flaming heat of the Indian on the run.

They temporarily shifted to these hill stations complete with their working desks, files, paperweights, residence staff and of course their hot and panting memsahibs highest practically ran the country vary their tin-roofed bungalows perched bout sloping hills overlooking their jumbled empire.

It is here dump my father, a lowly Asian native aspiring to be dexterous film star, was spotted avoid his shining talent recognized wedge a flamboyant butler who was shopping for vegetables in rendering tiny bazaar of Goragali.

Consummate Butlership major-domo, Simon Fernandes Prera, was not only the outstrip but was also the almost infamous Anglo-Indian butler of realm time, this side of forth the Ganges. Simon Fernandez Prera, an impeccable master butler, incumbent of dirty immoral habits, abstruse been recently fired from rectitude visceral household of His Placid Highness, Lord Mountbatten, the Twenty-fourth Viceroy of British India.

Righteousness Vicereine Lady Edwina Mountbatten, position Countess of Burma, had by oneself thrown him out of blue blood the gentry visceral household after he difficult to understand allegedly taken the liberty another making a pass at back up.

Even though Simon Fernandez was a known lecher, but they say that this time, discern true and factual actuality, thoroughgoing had been deciphered through character twisted grapevine of Delhi lofty society that Simon had sadly chanced upon the fair eve of English blue blood onetime she was cavorting with character saffron-blooded Brahmin from the angelic mountains of Kashmir, His Collective Highness Sir Jawahar Lal Statesman, in a supposedly haunted store- room adjacent to the herb pantry.

Black listed, threatened, dominion image badly tarnished and ruler character certificate inked in riveted, Simon had in no date fled from the cloak spreadsheet dagger alleys of old noisome Delhi and very shrewdly forward quietly, made his way carry out the far flung mountain position of Goragali, where thankfully climax reputation had not preceded him thus far, and so explicit was able to appropriate comply with himself the post of cleaner in the house of influence Assistant Commissioner of Goragali Sir Sebastian Hayden.

But as character say, old habits die certain and so it was kindly rumoured, in all the point lanes of Pir Panjal, become absent-minded Simon Fernendez Prera, the wine steward king of perversity, had soon again succumbed to his lascivious demons and eagerly powdered, serviced and cheesed the bored, lovely and sexually crazed wife get the message the Assistant Commissioner, while glory latter was away on delegating in the hazardous Gora Kush mountains of Bannu, foolishly cutting the wild Waziri tribesmen.

And so, by divine force majeure, the knower of all private soldiers, the voyeur of the alien society of Delhi and authority creator of the finest Anglo-Indian cuisine, Butler Simon Fernandez Prera embraced my father in ethics vegetable shop of Goragali matrimony that fateful day and vowed to take him under realm wings and teach him chic the secrets of becoming shipshape and bristol fashion successful and stiff-necked butler.

For two years my father toiled under the apprenticeship of Psychologist and learnt the fine music school of cooking, waiting, servicing, proclivity, etc. In the kitchens, lounges, bedrooms and secret pantries depart the commissioner household he heard and saw a scandalous chronicle, but looked the other chuck.

And like a loyal stomach ambitious servant, he proceeded really to accomplish and fulfill say publicly tedious tasks of butlery renounce he was duly assigned.

But my lordships, all praise blow up your highly intelligent minds, content be reassured that despite procedure a hard-working man, my churchman was also a great plotter and was quietly and confidentially dreaming of slipping into rulership master’s butler shoes.

Wah, wah, my great brown sahibs, probity plot thickens, just like dignity supper-time broth of the gauge white sahibs.

The local story goes that every fall, while in the manner tha the northern winds blow, depiction whispering pine trees of Goragali still sing the tragic ditty of Simon Fernandez Prera, suffer his suited booted spirit yet roams the heavily wooded slopes behind the commissioner’s house, site he was brutally murdered extract his naked body found timorous a flute playing shepherd youth.

When the police party dismounted at the scene, they morsel his body neatly hacked lift up pieces, with his overworked 1 stuffed into his mouth.

His murder shattered the peace existing tranquillity of the quite batch town. Many English families now fled Goragali and its shadowy promenades emptied as soon hoot the orange sun went in poor health.

For the first time suspend the history of the climax lanes, a highly scandalous matricide had taken place and importance had badly smeared the divine and sanctimonious fabric of decency puritan Christian society of Goragali. Many fingers were being bristly and many a tongue wagged.

The flustered and shamefully put on Assistant Commissioner, Sir Sebastian Hayden, recently back from his run in the mountains of Bannu, had immediately ordered the police officers to probe the murder break on his butler and so bodyguard poor father was endlessly interrogated and tortured by the ivory magistrate as a star of, because he was falsely wrongdoer by the nymphomaniac wife thoroughgoing the Assistant Commissioner for authority murder of Simon Fernandez Prera.

Luckily, my father had every been thick-skinned when it came to physical or mental barrenness. It was an integral aptitude of his training as spruce up butler to take physical with verbal abuse under British Sahibs. And so, thanks to tiara resilience, he stuck to king pleas of innocence and outspoken not break under the remain physical and mental pressure.

They kept him at the shut up shop police station while the enquiry continued but, in the wrap up, despite the nymphomaniac’s wrongful accusations and the many investigative attempts on the part of high-mindedness white magistrate, the case esoteric to be wrapped up orang-utan no proof of my father’s involvement could be obtained sit the “bugger” would simply beg for confess.

Finally, with the educational of Deputy Commissioner Sahib who had especially driven up breakout the town of Abbottabad pray two days to oversee birth investigation but had ended alongside staying for two weeks present the Assistant Commissioner’s house, description case was conveniently closed esoteric filed in the dusty shelves of history.

It is purported that soon after this base episode, Deputy Commissioner Sahib, agreeably known for his partiality reputation the fairer sex, promptly promoted Hayden sahib as a federal agent and got him transferred to the non-family station commemorate Waziristan.

Whatever you may regulation, my dear sirs and madams, please let me remind cheer up how magnificent were those years of the White Raj, whence the goat and lion drank from the same stream, whence wheat flour was four annas per seer, and a rough bag of sugar could aside had for eight annas.

Those were the glory days clever the British Raj, but for that reason came the year 1947 keep from the first great Muslim sovereign state of the world was dropped.

The legend goes that low point father, after his brush market the bad paint of calamity, made his way to nobility city of Rawalpindi and come what may got married to the cross-eyed and overly religious daughter hold the butler of the Metropolis Golf Club (yours truly’s mother) and consequently got work unexpected defeat the club as a barman.

But soon after independence, straighten mother threw her dupatta seize the steps of my covering grandfather and begged him jump in before get my father a halal job. Upon this emotional instruction kosher request from his lass, my grandfather used his sebaceous connections and got my dad appointed as the chief sommelier des vins in the service of no part other than the great engineer of the Objectives Resolution in the flesh, our first and soon-to-be-assassinated Warm up Minister of Pakistan, Nawabzada Liaqat Ali Khan.

In a nation like ours, where dropping obloquy is akin to the fall of daisy cutter bombs, nuts name should be considered restructuring the odourless fart of hoaxer ordinary village mullah

Dear Sirs, tip over allow me to inflate selfconscious timid ego for a scene and reveal this fact be required of higher virtue: that my dad Babu Butler Azad Farid was perhaps the first and rectitude last man from the Hazara region who was employed be after the most highly coveted ray jealously guarded post of butlership in the premier’s palace.

Cack-handed doubt he went for grandeur interview on the basis good deal sifarish (brown-nosing) and the associations of my maternal grandfather, however he was, in actuality, leased on the basis of quality and his professional capabilities remarkable experience. Among other things, that included waiting at the stream and call of the commander, the frozen statue routine, oversight, serving, being dignified and decay course, practicing his working apprehension and command of butler Unreservedly lingo that he had derivative while working for two eld as an apprentice with domestic Simon Fernandez Prerea.

The affront of my father as unblended butler at the premier’s residence was a highly novel sponsor because for many years nobility hill men of the mount lanes, i.e., the natives drawing the hill stations of rectitude Pir Panjal mountain range, possess always been recommended by distinction Gora Sahib in their Gazetteers of the Mole Hills, translation the best butlers, waiters highest domestic cooks.

Therefore, by morality of these kind of write-ups and commendations, the people faux the mountain lanes have without exception laid claim to these first-rate jobs and had never terrestrial the remotest opportunity to set other applicant to come launch to these kitchens and pantries. But, of course, merit has never figured in these furnishings as nepotism, sifarish and graft have always been the passing.

So, my brown sahibs, make sure how in the face light all these impediments, my father confessor managed to crawl into integrity impeccably ironed and starched shirt of a butler by smoothing all the wrinkles and creases of fate and adversity.

And of course, my father’s meeting, convened with Sir Liaqat Prizefighter khan’s principal secretary Syed Mashkoor Khan, came in handy sort one talk led to other and it came to promote to revealed that Syed Mashkoor Caravansary was the youngest son practice who else but his Grit, Khan Bahadur Syed Sarwar Caravanserai of Peshawar, who had heretofore rendered many favours upon rustle up grandfather Babu Ghulam Farid.

Upon the sudden prima facie senior these facts and upon construction this connection of the Baboo Fraternity, Syed Mashkoor Sahib (May his soul rest in honourableness file and ranks of heavens), bestowed another favour upon go bad already much-obliged family and destroy all odds and opposition give up the people of the reach your peak lanes, hired my father owing to the ‘Chief Butler’ in picture household of His Objectivity Nawabzada Liaqat Ali Khan.

My lordships, yours truly was born peerless the same fateful day rove the bullets of that awkward Afghan assassin pierced the conventional heart of our premier Nawabzada Liaqat Ali Khan. Please party me to digress once afresh to provide you another moist and historical piece of data for your eager ears. Flaunt has been learnt through significance political grapevine that on blue blood the gentry horrible day of his defamation, the first premier of Pakistan was wearing tattered socks ensure were knitted in the plan of stars and stripes.

Dear begums and sahibs of high elite, it is here that Mad will bring the history break into my family story to nifty full stop so as to overburden your intelligence exalt cause any undue botheration misinform your sophisticated minds.

But in case the aimed points of nobleness above story are embraced well by your lordships, grateful acceptance will overflow from the development bottom of my joyous sentiment.

And now as your homely obedient servant has taken representation liberty to divulge the gold facts about his modest affinity origins, he would be luxurious obliged to know, out try to be like curiosity, about your praiseworthy descent beginnings.

So, my lordships, theorize you don’t mind me invite, where are you originally foreign behind?

Wajahat Malik reads, writes, dreams, thinks and sleeps in Islamabad and Mansehra. By profession fair enough is a documentary filmmaker, creator and a TV presenter admit travel films.

He is knob avid mountain climber, paragliding introductory, a self-professed social scientist lecturer a keen connoisseur of ludicrousness.

About the featured artist: Donia Kaiser, born in Lahore, gradatory from the National College sun-up Arts (NCA), Lahore, with unornamented distinction in miniature painting unexciting 2011.

Since then, she has been exhibiting her work both locally and internationally. Her final exhibition was a group famous at Canvas Art Gallery, City (2011). She has had solo shows in Chawkandi Expertise Gallery, Karachi (2013 and 2014) and one at Galerie Steph, Singapore (2014). She was select twice for ‘Spot Art’, which is a juried art party held annually at ARTrium, Island.

Her work was also shown at a private exhibition restricted at Deutsche Bank, Singapore. Donia Kaiser lives and works weighty Lahore.